Goldie's funny for Friday (ben morgen VRIJ!!)

[DutchDaddy]

FYI, verhalen zijn NIET van MIJ........(dus niet door mij geschreven...)

"So, we're out a few nights ago in the Touareg. There's a Mazda RX-8 next to me, silver, and an asshat inside with three chix. He's like, "Yo, I fvckin just drank a forty," yelling out the window (not yelling to me, just yelling out the window to the world and the other five cars at the stoplight). I'm like, "This guy is an idiot." He's in the middle lane of three lanes, I'm in the leftmost lane, so he's off my passenger side. So I put the Touareg in neutral and start revving it. He starts revving his engine. We're going downhill toward the viaduct (under the bridge southbound on Des Plaines or Clinton or whatever that is... for those of you in Chicago... by the Grayhound station...) Touareg transmission in sport mode... light turns green. He gets a horrible start, spins his wheels, etc. I'm out ahead in the lead. Now, remember, all his windows are down and it's raining HARD -- there's nearly two feet of standing water in a puddle that must be ten feet long under this bridge. I slow down for him just for a second to catch up a bit, then floor the accelerator. A HUGE wave of water shoots up from the passenger side of my truck and goes RIGHT into his open window. This guy looked like a fire hydrant had just been opened next to his car window. For the ENTIRE LENGTH of the puddle, my wave continues to fill his RX8 with water. The guy, his passengers, his interior, everything is soaked.

He starts to chase me. Remember, it's like 1am and everybody on the street is either drunk, a cop, or both. Except me. We go east on Roosevelt (for Chicago folks), then I take a quick turn by the White Palace Grill onto Canal and duck onto Taylor way late... he goes right past, too wet/tired/pissed/cold to keep chasing.

Funnies frickin' thing that's happened in a long time.

Now when it rains today, the g/f is like, "Let's go spray somebody."

Truly a great experience.

If I do a movie someday, that'll be in it.

Not a good example, don't try this at home, etc.

And who has all the windows down in the POURING rain anyway?

Laatste verhaal, zou ik eigenlijk moeten bewaren voor kerst, maar goed, hierro dan:

A Funny But Sad Story: a RICED-OUT BMW E36 318i: (LONG)

First off, we should all cherish what we have and not take it for granted. =)

OK, I admit, it started out funny...

...I went to Sunoco to get gas and as I pull up, I see this totally RICED OUT BMW E36 318i. I sure wish I had my DigiCam handy, you guys/gals would be ROTFLing at the picture. This black 318i had NY plates, 4% limo tint, was super slammed, probably only 3" off the ground, stock wheels, a bumble-bee exhaust with a 5" exhaust tip, a few Type R stickers (I'm not kidding!), purple corners, some low budget F40 look rear wing, some Chinese/Kanji writing on the side, I believe it said, "unlimited power" or something like that; perhaps a Mugen sticker? AND the kicker, E46 M3 badges on the rear, side and front!

I was busting up with laughter inside my car as I pulled up next to him. I regained my composure, got out and started to fill up while checking out the riced-out 318. I was still chuckling. Then I noticed the whole time, the owner of the 318, a young man in his late teens, was searching for something in the back seat. I couldn't figure it out at first and then I realized...this is where it gets sad...

...the poor Kid didn't have any money for gas. He was searching his backseat for change to pay for gas. I was disturbed by this sudden realization and my laughter quickly turned to sadness.... The Kid saw my S4 and said real enthusiastically, "Sweet Audi. Dope wheels." I replied, "Thanks! You OK?" The Kid said, "Yeah, why do you ask?" I replied, "I just noticed the pump reads $2.00 and you've been searching for change in your back seat all this time. I don't mean any offense but do you need any help?" Quickly the Kid's façade of happy-go-lucky turned to a look of desperation. He looked around and whispered, "Yeah, I'm broke. I don't know how I'm gonna get back home" (to NY I assumed).

I didn't ask questions, didn't say a word, I walked over and inserted my credit card and started pumping 94 Ultra into his BMW. The Kid was like, "Whhh...what are you doing?" I smiled and said, "Well, you need to get home." The Kid was speechless, I really thought for a moment he was gonna cry. I didn't question how or why, I could just tell he was desperate. I really felt bad for him. After I filled up, I went in my wallet and handed the Kid (what I thought was) $40. The Kid just had a blank stare, not knowing how to respond. I said, "It's a long drive, you need to get some food." He just smiled and still had a kinda blank look and said, "Thank you so much, I don't know how I'm gonna pay you back but I will." I replied, "Don't worry about it, no need to pay me back." The Kid replied, "But $200 is a lot of money." I thought I gave him two $20s but it turns out I gave two $100s! I just went to bank and withdrew $500. Two $100s and fifteen $20s. I sort the money in my wallet from right to left, smallest to largest bill. I pulled out two bills from the left and didn't look, assuming they were $20s. Well, I guess the bills were inverse for one reason or another and gave the Kid two Benjamins. Well, I'm not going to ask for it back, I'm no Indian Giver so I just played it off like I meant to do that and replied, "No need, you keep it and take care." The Kid was really happy and I'm a KNUCKLEHEADED DUFUS! =)

As I left, I said, "Nice M3" (OK, so I lied, the car wasn't nice, it was terrible). The Kid replied, "It's not really a M3, it's only a 318i." I replied, "Oh, well ya fooled me" (trying my best to keep a straight face. The Kid was happy.

OK, I don't know the Kid from Adam, don't know how, why or what his circumstances were but it just made me think we should realize how lucky we truly are. I don't live pay check to pay check, I don't have money problems (well, we all do to a certain extent) but I think you know what I mean...

Ahhh, I don't know what I'm trying to say, I guess we should just take a moment to realize we're lucky to be driving such a nice car and able to be on This Board bitching about little things that don't REALLY MATTER in the grand scheme of things...life.

For the money, the S4 may very well be the best all around automobile. I'm beginning to think it is. AOA is another story. So everyone, be thankful. And be thankful you never run into that Kid with the fake "M3". It'll hurt your eyes. =)

[Eszes]

Well, I've tried that looking-for-change-in-the-backseat trick... But all I got was help with the search...

Leuke verhalen!

[loslimbo]

Zo heb ik al eens iemand een heel erg dure bekeuring aangesmeerd. Veel accelereren en vlak voor de flitser vol op de rem